Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Trending via Discord:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Seen just now on Discord:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Going viral on YouTube:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Trending via Twitch:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Going viral on Telegram:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Just shared via Twitch:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your heart skips a beat because your toaster has a bagel button! 🥯✨ #AdultLifeGoals"

activity, adult, appliances, being, buying, excited, fun, fun activity, getting, humor, maturity, new, shopping

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

0

2 months ago

bad, bad intention, greeting, humor, intention, intentions, sarcasm, worst
My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

0

5 months ago

answer, arguing, argument, asking, conservative, favorite, genre, give, grok, guy, humor, likes, question, true, tweet
I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

0

2 months ago

Alzheimer’s, day, early, every, humor, i, idea, joke, marriage, me, memory, relationship, saw, think, wife
Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, financial, follow, forgetting, home, humor, me, money, save, tips, tricks, wallet
Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

0

2 months ago

acting, apology, behavior, being, humor, i, interaction, just, mirror, people, playful, sarcasm, social, social interaction, sorry, weird, weirdness
Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

0

2 months ago

bacon, bad, bad day, comfort, comfort food, day, food, free, happiness, having, humor, lighthearted, should

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Making waves on YouTube:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Just landed via TikTok:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Just landed via Telegram:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Just shared via Messenger:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Spotted on X:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Shared recently on Slack:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨