Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.
  • Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?
  • Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.
  • Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.
  • I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”
  • I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.