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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Meow means woof in cat.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Just shared via Snapchat:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Live now on Twitch:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Just landed via YouTube:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Just landed via Snapchat:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Just shared via Threads:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Witty joke about Bitcoin comparing it to Kohl’s Cash for guys.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Bitcoin is like Kohl’s Cash for boys – except instead of redeeming it for discount kitchen appliances, they trade it for imaginary Lamborghinis 🚗💸 #CryptoJunkies"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I will never stop being a quitter!

52 shares on TikTok this month:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

33 shares on Discord this month:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

27 shares on Discord this month:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,380

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Just landed via Discord:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Seen just now on Threads:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Spotted on Slack:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Just landed via TikTok:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Just shared via Discord:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Apple’s secret growth engine: vibe coders paying the $99 Apple Developer Program fee.

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