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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Seen just now on Threads:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Making waves on Instagram:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Just landed via YouTube:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Spotted on Reddit:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Just shared via TikTok:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Trending via YouTube:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When life gives you boredom, start a game of emotional chess! 🎭😜 Checkmate your way into fun!"

anyone, bored, boredom, emotional, emotional manipulation, emotionally, hell, humor, interaction, manipulate, manipulation, sarcasm, social, social interaction, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

0

2 months ago

activity, day, gardening, home, home activity, humor, procrastination, relaxation, today, TV
Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

0

5 months ago

advice, cool, disappointment, expectation, humor, interaction, people, personality, recipe, social, social interaction, stop
Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

0

2 months ago

assumption, drinker, funny posts, humor, morning, morning drinker, noon, posts, someone, wake, wake up
Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

0

5 months ago

attention, aura, aura farming, behavior, checking, distraction, farming, front, funny situation, listening, music, old, old person, people, person, phone, public, public behavior, situation, social, social behavior
Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

0

5 months ago

business, enough, go out of business, humor, i, job, leave, leaving, need, quitting, revenge, sarcasm, workplace
My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

0

2 months ago

card, declined, eating, embarrassment, food, front, funny moment, humor, me, moment, sandwich, Subway

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

34 shares on Slack this month:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

98 shares on Threads this month:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

22 shares on WeChat this month:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Trending via Twitch:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Just shared via Messenger:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Seen just now on YouTube:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Trending via Snapchat:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨