Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Well, at least he mastered the art of being a 'phone-y' criminal! 🤣📞 Behind bars but sweet on the line, quite the recipe for a modern romance novel. #SweetTalker #PrisonCharm 😏"

calls, conversation, humor, irony, nice, phone, prison, unexpected

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

0

2 months ago

class, confusion, education, foreign, foreign movie, humor, learning, math, me, movie, subtitle, watching
Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

0

2 months ago

content, content creation, creation, feel, female, filmmaker, forgot, fun, i, ig, Instagram, Instagram story, media, post, social, social media, story
Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

0

3 months ago

commercial, commercials, complaint, even, humor, maybe, paid, paying, payment, service, services, stop, streaming, streaming service, subscription, us, volume, watch
My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

0

2 months ago

account, always, bank, bank account, dishwasher, humor, joint, kitchen, me, relationship, something, trust, walks, wife
Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

0

2 months ago

absurdity, am, big, dropped, every, head, humor, husband, i, keys, piano, post, Reddit, relationship, teeth, wrong
This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

0

2 months ago

carrying, collaboration, dead, dead weight, economy, expense, expensive, here, hustler, leech, teamwork, together, too, weight, working

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

24 shares on Reddit this month:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

53 shares on Threads this month:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Seen just now on Discord:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Trending via Slack:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨