Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,016

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When he's around, my brain's on vacation mode! 🏖️🧠😜

actually, around, brain, dating, humor, i, man, relationship, smart, smart man, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

0

2 months ago

always, city, humor, irony, never, NYC, pee, smell, world
Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

0

1 month ago

college, every, except, group, group project, humor, people, person, project, sarcasm, single, smart, smarter, student, teamwork, three, welcome, where
The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

0

1 month ago

change, city, doors, driving, humor, pothole, radio, station, transportation
It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

0

2 months ago

alarm, day, first day, important, kids, parenting, remember, reminder, responsibility, school
People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

0

1 month ago

behavior, glass, glass house, house, houses, humor, irony, orgy, party, people, social, social behavior, throw
Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

0

2 months ago

family, home, house, humor, parents, password, technology, welcome, where, wifi

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Instagram this month:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

32 shares on X this month:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

84 shares on X this month:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Spotted on Reddit:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Just shared via Messenger:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Shared recently on Slack:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Going viral on Discord:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Breaking via X:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Trending via WeChat:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨