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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

358 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,627

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,627

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Going viral on Threads:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Spotted on Reddit:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When he's around, my brain's on vacation mode! 🏖️🧠😜

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

2 months ago

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Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

2 months ago

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Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

2 months ago

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Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

2 months ago

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Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

2 months ago

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Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

40 shares on Threads this month:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

88 shares on Discord this month:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Going viral on Messenger:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Just shared via Telegram:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Live now on Messenger:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Spotted on Instagram:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨