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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, 8 hours of sleep, where art thou? Come back to me and let us dream sweet dreams together! 😴💭 #SleepDeprivedStruggles"

exhaustion, humor, i, longing, miss, relationship, rest, sleep, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

0

2 months ago

excuse, funny excuse, humor, mom, outside, self-esteem, sorry, ugly
Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

0

5 months ago

bother, communication, debt, humor, late, late reply, love, me, money, patience, relationship, reply, take, time
Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

0

3 months ago

adult, being, bottle, daily, daily routine, day, every, forgetfulness, health, humor, i, looking, medication, pill, pill bottle, responsibility, routine, spending, take, wondering
Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

0

3 months ago

am, boredom, distraction, habit, i, media, question, scrolling, searching, self-reflection, social, social media, why
Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

0

2 months ago

cookie, humor, i, indulgence, just, minute, movie, procrastination, self-deception, tell
Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

0

2 months ago

disturbed, humor, i, learned, media, perspective, realization, self-reflection, social, social media, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

85 shares on Slack this month:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Spotted on TikTok:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Going viral on Telegram:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Just landed via TikTok:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Just landed via Telegram:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Just shared via YouTube:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨