Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.
  • I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.
  • The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.
  • If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.
  • Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.
  • That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.