Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Commentary:
“Struggling to keep your eyes open and hair in place? Watch out – your new social strategy is here! 🙈💤 Just remember, looking like a feral animal isn’t always a bad thing… it just means you’re always ready for a ‘wild’ encounter! 🐾😂”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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    Commentary:
    “Who’s the real genius here? 😹🍕 Always keep your eyes peeled, you never know when that pizza delivery bird might show up! 🍕🕊️ #PizzaLovers”

  • Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

    Commentary:
    “Really, where’s the extra incentive for drafting those *fire* emails, right? 💸💻 Who knew that a few dollar bills could make email chains more thrilling than a spy mission? 🔥💼 #TipMeIfYouLikeMyEmails”

  • I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

    Commentary:
    “Breaking news – local resident announces bold holiday plans to ‘be home for Christmas’ 🎄🏠 Turns out, it’s the ONLY logical destination for some festive cheer! Who would’ve thought? 🤷‍♂️ #ObviousChoice #HomeSweetHome”

  • As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

    Commentary:
    “Dear customers, please don’t forget to do the mandatory store-wide high five before you walk out! 🛒🙌✨ Who knows, you might just end up buying something you never knew you needed! 😄🛍️ #ShoppingAdventures”

  • Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

    Commentary:
    “Dear lactose-intolerant heathen, it’s time to embrace the dairy and join the milky way of life! 🥛🐄 Don’t be cheese-ist, lactose is gouda for you! 😉”