Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,055

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I was dropped as an adult.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Live now on Telegram:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Breaking via X:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Making waves on TikTok:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Making waves on Messenger:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Just landed via Discord:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Spotted on X:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Trending via Telegram:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

9 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'll be having a lawful December feast! 🍰🎉👮‍♂️

calorie, count, December, diet, eating, festive, food, holiday, humor, indulgence, law

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

0

1 month ago

annoy, forever, handsome, humor, man, relationship, want, woman, women
Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

0

5 months ago

28-day, 28-day challenge, challenge, daily, daily goal, goal, humor, i, motivation, no-swearing, procrastination, restart, self-improvement, started, today, tomorrow
Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

0

2 months ago

2030, carbonation, coke, Coke Zero, drink, drinking, drinks, fizzy, fizzy drink, government, government pledge, humor, pledge, satire, sounds, zero
Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

0

2 months ago

every, flannel, flask, gift, gift guide, guide, hold, humor, knife, men, satire, whiskey
Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

0

1 month ago

being, crazy, dating, fun, humor, mean, no one, relationship, single
Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

0

2 months ago

digestion, gastrointestinal, health, humor, problem, problems, sexual, spiritual

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

79 shares on Threads this month:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Live now on Facebook:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Going viral on Threads:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Seen just now on Slack:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Going viral on Reddit:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨