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Commentary:
Well, talk about false advertising! 🐤 Perhaps they should consider a name change to avoid confusion. Maybe Canary-Free Islands and Canary-Less Isles would be more accurate! 😄 #BirdBanter

animal, canary, geography, humor, irony, island, isle, joke, know, same, thing, virgin, Virgin Isle, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

0

2 months ago

2008, disappointment, employer, expectations, future, headshot, humor, i, job, job search, LinkedIn, search
I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

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2 months ago

alternate, app, family, join, start, taken, taken down, Twitter
Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

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2 months ago

everything, expert, experts, humor, irony, know, knowledge, sarcasm, shout, shout out, web
I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

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2 months ago

call, dad, data, forget, funny memory, guy, i, me, memory, middle, middle school, need, never, Obama, phone, school, stop, tell, using, Verizon
I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

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2 months ago

anger, anyone, fast, fast food, food, food order, frustration, humor, i, order, over, personality, reaction, trust
No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

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2 months ago

archived, archived chat, chat, communication, conversation, dark, dark humor, digital, digital life, humor, life, media, online, online communication, place, social, social media, texting, WhatsApp, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

43 shares on Discord this month:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

78 shares on X this month:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

44 shares on X this month:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

12 shares on TikTok this month:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Going bananas on Facebook:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Just landed via WeChat:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Going viral on Instagram:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Making waves on Messenger:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨