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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,659

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Trending via YouTube:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Live now on Messenger:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Trending via TikTok:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Spotted on YouTube:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Making waves on Telegram:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

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Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Seriously, stop belittling those majestic dinosaurs with your 'roaming' label. They were probably busy running errands, attending dino meetings, and grabbing coffee with their dino buddies.🦖💼 Don't mess with a dino's packed schedule!🦕⏰ #BusyDinos"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

77 shares on Discord this month:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

93 shares on Threads this month:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,358

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Spotted on YouTube:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Breaking via Messenger:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Just landed via Messenger:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

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