Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Breaking via Discord:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Spotted on Instagram:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Just landed via Messenger:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Trending via Twitch:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Making waves on Telegram:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Shared recently on Facebook:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Crabs wondering why fish have a permanent case of the zoomies! 🦀💭🐠✈️😂"

animals, crab, curiosity, fish, fly, funny question, humor, perspective, question, think, thought, underwater

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

0

10 hours ago

40, after, age, away, came, experience, far, i, life, man, masses, men, privacy, private, quiet, quiet life, reflection, slip, solitude, understand, understanding, why
Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

0

2 months ago

columns, confusion, data, difference, frustration, geek, geek humor, hate, humor, i, man, math, me, much, nothing, office, office humor, rows, tables
The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

0

2 months ago

count, cynicism, humor, inconsistency, only, people, relationships, reliability, sarcasm, thing, trust
If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

0

4 months ago

alive, communication, death, humor, kind, kind word, kindness, legacy, life, pass, people, say, should, want, word, words
No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

0

1 week ago

awkwardness, eye, eyes, humor, just, no rizz, pretty, pretty eye, rizz, say, self-deprecating, thing, things, unsettling, unsettling thing
Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

0

2 months ago

appearance, battery, dating, humor, joke, perks, phone, self-deprecation, ugly

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on WeChat this month:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

80 shares on Discord this month:

Body by sandwich.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

55 shares on Threads this month:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Going viral on Messenger:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Shared recently on Instagram:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Making waves on TikTok:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Spotted on WeChat:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Just shared via Reddit:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Breaking via Messenger:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Seen just now on TikTok:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨