26 funny fish quotes - Wordgag

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

May 20, 2026

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

May 20, 2026

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

May 20, 2026

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

May 20, 2026

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

May 20, 2026

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

May 19, 2026

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Apr 1, 2026

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Apr 1, 2026

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Mar 31, 2026

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Mar 30, 2026

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Mar 30, 2026

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Mar 30, 2026

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Mar 29, 2026

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Mar 28, 2026

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Mar 28, 2026

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Mar 28, 2026

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Mar 26, 2026

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Mar 26, 2026

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Mar 26, 2026

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Mar 26, 2026

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Mar 26, 2026

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Mar 26, 2026

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Mar 25, 2026

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Mar 25, 2026

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Mar 25, 2026

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Mar 25, 2026