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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,711

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Spotted on Discord:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your career is playing hard to get. Time to send it a "we need to talk" text! 😅📞💼

another, career, communication, humor, job, know, one-sided, pursuit, relationship, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

4 weeks ago

avoiding, buying, cost, costs, expense, girl, humor, math, money, shipping, shipping cost, shopping, shopping strategy, strategy
Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

1 month ago

alarm, dust, early, humor, kid, me, needs, parenting, scream, today, wake, wake up
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

1 month ago

algebra, assurance, humor, i, irony, life, real, real life, thing
Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

1 month ago

diagnose, doctor, doctors, future, humor, marriage, me, relationship, wife
Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

1 month ago

activity, beautiful, dating, drinks, Friday, fun, fun activity, humor, i, invitation, invite, me, relaxation, weekend, woman
“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

1 month ago

celebrity, dicaprio, event, genetic, genetic test, humor, leonardo, Leonardo DiCaprio, me, RSVP, test

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Going bananas on YouTube:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Spotted on Messenger:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Just shared via X:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

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Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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