Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs extra blood when you can have extra dessert? 🍩💉 Making sure there's always space for that post-donation snack! 😉 #FoodOverBlood"

blood, diet, donating, food, health, humor, joke, room, sacrifice, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

0

5 months ago

animal, brake, driving, except, humor, i, squirrel, squirrels
I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

0

2 months ago

checkbox, found, frustration, humor, login, me, memory, never, nothing, remember, technology, works
Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

0

2 months ago

back, behavior, call, cat, dog, humor, message, pet, pet behavior, procrastination, witty
I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

0

2 months ago

change, feelings, humor, i, memory, miss, nostalgia, past, reflection, remember, sun, vulnerability
Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

0

2 months ago

amazing, animal, dog, effort, food, humor, pet, plate, view
I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily routine, day, everyone, humor, i, least, media, myself, popcorn, posting, routine, self-control, social, social media, status, status update, stop, twice, update

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Reddit this month:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Salt is just angry sugar.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

78 shares on Slack this month:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Shared recently on Discord:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Making waves on Discord:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Making waves on Twitch:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Going bananas on Discord:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Seen just now on Discord:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Shared recently on Threads:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨