Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,694

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Making waves on WeChat:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Making waves on WeChat:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Spotted on Threads:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Warning: Donating your plasma might result in a sudden increase in your household's TV collection! 📺🩸🤣

big, donate, donation, humor, just, plasma, scam, TV, TVs, using

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

0

2 months ago

analogy, cake, chai, food, humor, love, relationship, rusk
If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

0

2 months ago

actually, behavior, being, complain, complaint, fitness, humor, i, irony, just, out of shape, people, relatability, self-awareness, shape, tips, try, want, workout, wrong
I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

0

2 months ago

awareness, before, effort, end, going, humor, i, life, life struggle, motivation, need, point, procrastination, put, real, self, self-awareness, shit, struggle, together, waiting, world, world end
The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

0

2 months ago

best, best way, communication, humor, intelligence, me, reach, reach me
Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

0

2 months ago

being, gracefully, happiness, happy, health, humor, insane, insanity, joy, life, mental, mental health, secret, self-acceptance, uniqueness
Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

0

2 months ago

creativity, day, humor, naming, nextday, otherday, someday, thatday, thisday, time, today, week, yesterday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

31 shares on X this month:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Trending via Reddit:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Just landed via Threads:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Just shared via Threads:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Spotted on Twitch:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨