Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Watch out, world! This pedestrian means business 💪🚶‍♂️ Don't underestimate their commitment to zebra stripes and justice! 🦓 #CrosswalkWarrior"

am, crossing, drivers, humor, i, point, prove, prove point, underestimate, willingness, zebra, zebra crossing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

0

2 months ago

billion, body, brain, distraction, humor, insomnia, overthinking, six, sleep, thought, time
I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

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3 weeks ago

box, dark, dark humor, heart, hoodie, humor, i, love, me, sarcasm, want
When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

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5 months ago

again, attitude, breakup, communication, conversation, going, gratitude, humor, i, interaction, me, never, relationship, response, right, sarcasm, say, social, social interaction, someone, talk, thank, thing
Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

friend, friends, life, motivation, parent, parents, procrastination, self-deception, student, student life, study, studying, tomorrow, yourself
I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

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2 months ago

data, freak, geek, humor, nerd, office, spreadsheet, work
My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

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2 months ago

bills, door, front, front door, humor, joke, just, protection, security, system, unpaid

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

82 shares on TikTok this month:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Spotted on Instagram:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Trending via TikTok:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Trending via TikTok:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Trending via Slack:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨