Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
😂💪 "When you make your dentist question their own flossing habits, that's when you truly establish dominance in the oral hygiene realm! 😁🦷 #DentalBoss"

asking, assertiveness, care, dental, dental care, dentist, dominance, everyday, flossing, humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

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2 months ago

beer, example, girlfriend, humor, little, mine, moving, moving in, quirks, realize, relationship, storage, stores, together, vegetables
My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

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2 months ago

chaos, disarray, drawer, humor, junk, junk drawer, mind, randomness, someone, trampoline
Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

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2 months ago

back, before, bring, button, experience, feature, feature request, humor, i, just, media, needs, read, refresh, refreshed, request, social, social media, starting, technology, tweet, Twitter, user, user experience
The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

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2 months ago

date, facial, facial recognition, humor, i, irony, me, phone, phones, recognition, relationship, technology, think
I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

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2 months ago

code, communication, frustration, humor, i, insomnia, learned, me, morse, Morse code, myself, rain, sleep, swear, swear word, telling, word
I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

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2 months ago

am, artificial, artificial intelligence, bot, bots, convinced, half, humor, i, intelligence, least, skepticism, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Threads this month:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

98 shares on TikTok this month:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

39 shares on Slack this month:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Breaking via Slack:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Shared recently on X:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Shared recently on Slack:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨