Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"From a young age, this planner was destined to be a plan-canceller extraordinaire! 🙅‍♀️💁‍♀️ Who needs socializing when you can have a cozy night in? Cancel that, I'm staying in my PJs!"

activity, cancel, ever, girl, humor, i, introvert, little, plans, social, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

0

4 months ago

affection, flirtation, hands, humor, i, keep, love, man, me, please, touch, touchy-feely, yes
I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

0

2 months ago

am, away, dentist, eat, eating, food, humor, hunger, i, irony, leave, never, restriction, right, told
When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

0

2 months ago

childhood, cord, cords, humor, i, kid, nostalgia, phone, phones, reach, restriction, school, technology
You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

0

2 months ago

badass, bunny, cleaning, corner, dust, dust bunny, exaggeration, fear, humor, irony, real, spider, unexpected
I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

0

2 months ago

connection, friends, fun, homes, i, secret, tunnels, underground, wish
Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, bottle, butterfly, chugging, coping, coping mechanism, drinking, feel, humor, i, mechanism, nervousness, next, tequila, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Threads this month:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

72 shares on Threads this month:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Trending via Snapchat:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Going bananas on Slack:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Trending via WeChat:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Making waves on Snapchat:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Just shared via YouTube:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Just landed via Facebook:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨