38 funny plans quotes - Wordgag

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

May 26, 2026

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

May 25, 2026

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

May 25, 2026

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

May 24, 2026

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

May 24, 2026

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

May 23, 2026

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

May 22, 2026

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

May 22, 2026

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

May 22, 2026

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

May 22, 2026

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

May 21, 2026

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

May 21, 2026

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

May 21, 2026

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

May 20, 2026

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

May 20, 2026

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

May 20, 2026

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

May 19, 2026

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

May 19, 2026

No plans and no pants kind of day.

May 19, 2026

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

May 19, 2026

I love having plans to cancel.

May 18, 2026

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

May 18, 2026

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

May 18, 2026

Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing.

Apr 1, 2026

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Apr 1, 2026

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Apr 1, 2026

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Apr 1, 2026

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Mar 31, 2026

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Mar 31, 2026

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Mar 31, 2026

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Mar 31, 2026

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Mar 31, 2026

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Mar 30, 2026

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Mar 30, 2026

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Mar 30, 2026

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Mar 30, 2026

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Mar 30, 2026

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Mar 29, 2026