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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,952

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,952

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Seen just now on WeChat:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Trending via YouTube:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Going viral on Facebook:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Freshly posted on X:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Family guy is so insane, because why were people dating that dog?

Family guy is so insane, because why were people dating that dog?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Family Guy truly pushes the boundaries of surrealism – where else would you find humans falling for a talking dog? 🐶❤️ It's a love story for the ages, or should we say for the 'paws'! 🤪 #FamilyGuyFun"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,952

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,952

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Just shared via YouTube:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Making waves on Telegram:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Going viral on Messenger:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Making waves on X:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Spotted on Facebook:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Just shared via Reddit:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Live now on X:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Just landed via Threads:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

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