Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,588

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Trending via Discord:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Trending via Pinterest:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Going bananas on Discord:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Trending via Pinterest:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Making waves on TikTok:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Seen just now on Slack:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Trending via YouTube:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Next level parenting move: Start the 'are we there yet?' interrogation before your kids even have a chance to ask. 😆🚗 #ParentingPro"

ask, asking, before, flex, humor, kids, parenting, question, road, road trip, trip

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Stop dating if you have no car.

0

4 months ago

advice, car, dating, humor, relationship, stop
I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

0

2 months ago

arts, belt, black, black belt, finish, humor, i, joke, never, partial, partial arts, procrastination, self-deprecation, start
Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

0

2 months ago

countryside, england, everywhere, humor, just, rural, rural England, setting, Spider-Man, superhero, transportation, walk
Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

0

5 months ago

doubt, easily, exercise, fitness, flexibility, humor, i, me, pose, right, self-doubt, whenever, yoga, yoga pose
To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

0

2 months ago

big, clock, humor, joke, me, oversized, payback, pun, stole, theft, time
Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

0

3 months ago

crisis, humor, impossible, know, life, middle, midlife, midlife crisis, ongoing, ongoing crisis, period, reflection, self, self-reflection

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

47 shares on Threads this month:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

15 shares on X this month:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

85 shares on Threads this month:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Spotted on Telegram:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Making waves on YouTube:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Trending via Threads:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Live now on YouTube:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Stop dating if you have no car.

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨