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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,712

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Going bananas on Telegram:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Freshly posted on X:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Shared recently on Threads:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Making waves on Telegram:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Next level parenting move: Start the 'are we there yet?' interrogation before your kids even have a chance to ask. 😆🚗 #ParentingPro"

ask, asking, before, flex, humor, kids, parenting, question, road, road trip, trip

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

1 month ago
awkward, awkward moment, blue, blue eye, clumsiness, even, eye, eyes, first impression, gaze, humor, i, impression, just, meeting, moment, never, pale, tell, toe
Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

2 months ago
activity, break, decision, drop, drop it like it’s hot, dropping, due, hot, humor, i, it’s, personal, personal reason, reason, reasons, reference, song, song reference
I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

1 month ago
6am, 9pm, after, age, am, answered, humorous, i, late, late night, night, old, response, sleep, text
Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

1 month ago
diet, drive, eat, fasting, fitness, health, humor, humor quote, i, intermittent, joke, lifestyle, sarcasm
Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

1 month ago
communication, duct, duct tape, fix, golden, humor, irony, problem-solving, silence, silver, tape
Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

1 month ago
Christmas, drinks, holiday, humor, joke, leave, me, milk, Santa, whiskey

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Spotted on WeChat:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Going viral on WeChat:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Going viral on Instagram:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Freshly posted on X:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Trending via Reddit:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

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Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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