78 Funny leave quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

  Commentary:
  "With my DNA all over the place, I'd be caught before the crime is even committed! 🚔🔬😂"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Why read the room when you can leave the room?

  Commentary:
  "Reading rooms? Overrated. Exiting like a mystery novel? Now, that's some plot twist! 🚪😂📚"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

  Commentary:
  "Guess my charm isn't appetizing, but at least the leftovers were! 🍽️😂 #DinnerWin"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew being a homebody was actually an advanced social strategy? 😂🏠 #WinningAtIntroversion"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

  Commentary:
  "Just here for the plot twists and character development! 🤓🍿😏"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

  Commentary:
  "When they realize you're not coming back, cue the plot twist they'll talk about for ages! 🍿🎬 #DramaQueenExit"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

  Commentary:
  "When your inheritance is 99% bags, you know you're carrying the family legacy… literally! 👜😄 #BagHeirlooms #TotesEmosh"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the perfect reminder that introverting is a full-time job! 😂🏡 #HomeSweetHome #PeoplingIsHard"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic “before you go” hook — because nothing says 'happy hour' like a surprise boss mission right at the exit! 😅🚪💼 It’s the professional version of “Do you have a minute?” just as you're about to escape. Guess we all have that moment when our escape plans get hijacked by one last “important” task! 😂🤦‍♂️

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

  Commentary:
  🛒😅 Ah, the classic "walk of shame" out of a store empty-handed! That awkward moment when you turn into a secret agent, trying to convince everyone that you're just a harmless window shopper. 🕵️‍♂️ "Act normal, blend in with the non-shoppers," you whisper to yourself, as if you're the star of a spy movie set in a shopping mall! Just keep calm and carry on…without the shopping bags. 😉

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