My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere. Posted onMar 30, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:"With my DNA all over the place, I'd be caught before the crime is even committed! 🚔🔬😂" Related funny posts 🤝 My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere. I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence. I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene. People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying. “23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.