Skip to content
  • Privacy
  • Disclaimer
  • Terms & Conditions
Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

  • ⚡ Funny Quotes Slot →
Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 56 this month

15,809 funny quotes and pics

17,807 funny quotes topics

Updated: Mar 13, 2026

 

 

 

 

1020 Funny time quotes

Funny time quotes are perfect for those moments when time feels like it’s either moving way too fast or dragging on forever! ⏳😂 Whether it’s waiting for the weekend, losing track of hours, or wishing for “just five more minutes,” these quotes show how time can be both hilarious and frustrating. Tick-tock, let the laughs begin! 🕒😜

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Posts navigation

Older posts
Newer posts

© 2026 Wordgag Inc.

>>> Random Quotes ✨