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Looks like I hit the jackpot… but all I got was a selfie! 🎰📱😅
1034 Funny time quotes
It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.
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When your calendar finally agrees with your wild imagination 😉📅🎉
Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing.
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Procrastination: the only thing writers do on schedule! 📚✍️😅
Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?
Commentary:
Windows computers come with ads in the start menu? I just wanted to boot up, not sign up for a shopping spree! 🛍️🖥️😂
People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.
Commentary:
Spending 6 hours doomscrolling is just part of my daily workout routine for my thumb 😂📱🏋️♂️#InternetOlympics
Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.
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Well, at least he didn't have to worry about carrot shortages 🥕😂🐰
Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.
Commentary:
Why spend years in law school when you can defend your case with interpretive dance? 🌍💃📚🤷♂️
January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.
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The calendar may say different, but my couch potato instincts know it's a universal lazy day! 🥳🛋️📅
Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.
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Can't believe we've been greenlit for a sequel! 🎬🍿✨
Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?
Commentary:
Looks like your future kid is gonna have front-row seats to the next century’s chaos! 🎟️👶🚀