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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1660 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,822

Funny Quotes Topics

14,651

Funny Quotes Images

11,822

2 minutes ago

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Body by sandwich.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Making waves on Facebook:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Trending via Facebook:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Spotted on WeChat:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Trending via Threads:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Making waves on Messenger:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Making waves on X:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Home » Funny Week Quotes

94 Funny week quotes

Funny week quotes tackle the rollercoaster of highs, lows, and those is-it-Friday-yet moments that make up our workweek! 😂📅 Whether it’s surviving Monday, celebrating Friday’s arrival, or realizing that the weekend was way too short, these quotes remind us that every week is an adventure in itself. Because when the week is tough, laughter is the best way to make it through! 😆💼🚀

New funny week quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Commentary:
Sounds like you've mastered the art of timing… in reverse! 🕒✨😂
1 day ago
Share →: “What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Commentary:
Plot twist: my 5-year plan is to finally decide which toppings to get on my popcorn 🍿😂
2 days ago
Share →: Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Commentary:
Sounds good, Satan—I'll pencil you in for next Tuesday! 📅😈😂
2 days ago
Share →: You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Commentary:
Living the spin cycle life—perpetually sorting colors from whites like a never-ending quest! 🧺😅🌀
3 days ago
Share →: I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Commentary:
Sounds like my weekend agenda is fashionably on point: mastering the art of 'couch couture'! 😎👗🛋️
2 weeks ago
Share →: You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Commentary:
Time travel in progress—Catch me stuck in Tuesday! 🚀⏳😅
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Commentary:
Hope you've got your umbrella ready for some cash showers! ☔💸
2 weeks ago
Share →: Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Commentary:
Who knew the Discovery Channel would go from Shark Week to Glazed Goodness Week? 🍩😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Commentary:
"Revolutionary idea: a 3-day weekend! 🚀🙌 Why not take Monday off every week, right? 🤓😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: …and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Commentary:
"Another week gone and I still haven't found a dollar under my couch cushions 😅💸 #KeepDreaming"

For even more funny week quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny week quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1660 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,822

Funny Quotes Topics

14,651

Funny Quotes Images

11,822

2 minutes ago

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Making waves on Twitch:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Just shared via X:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Just shared via Facebook:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Trending via Telegram:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Making waves on Snapchat:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

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