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New funny quotes: 56 this month

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Updated: Mar 21, 2026

 

 

 

 

125 Funny week quotes

Funny week quotes tackle the rollercoaster of highs, lows, and those is-it-Friday-yet moments that make up our workweek! 😂📅 Whether it’s surviving Monday, celebrating Friday’s arrival, or realizing that the weekend was way too short, these quotes remind us that every week is an adventure in itself. Because when the week is tough, laughter is the best way to make it through! 😆💼🚀

January: the Monday of months.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Posted onJan 31, 2026

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

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