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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

4,045

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Spotted on Instagram:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Trending via Slack:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Just shared via Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Home » Funny Week Quotes

121 Funny week quotes

Funny week quotes tackle the rollercoaster of highs, lows, and those is-it-Friday-yet moments that make up our workweek! 😂📅 Whether it’s surviving Monday, celebrating Friday’s arrival, or realizing that the weekend was way too short, these quotes remind us that every week is an adventure in itself. Because when the week is tough, laughter is the best way to make it through! 😆💼🚀

New funny week quotes 👇

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

0

1 week ago

broke, childbirth, customer, customer service, emergency, fault, humor, last, last minute, minute, nice, pregnancy, procrastination, retail, retail worker, service, shop, shopping, water, week, worker
Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

0

3 weeks ago

Amazon, cart, confirmation, confirmation email, delay, delivery, email, expectation, expectation vs reality, humor, just, kidding, lol, online, online shopping, order, reality, shipping, shipping delay, shopping, today, tomorrow, vs, week
No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

0

3 weeks ago

excuse, humor, i, next, once, schedule, shadow, sorry, tiredness, week, work
Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

0

4 weeks ago

being, day, humor, Monday, record, week, worst, worst day
The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

0

1 month ago

day, day name, exaggeration, Friday, funny week, humor, Monday, name, Saturday, Sunday, Thursday, Tuesday, Wednesday, week, weekday, weekend
Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

0

1 month ago

every, home, house, humor, kitchen, laundry, laundry room, laziness, next, paid, plan, procrastination, rent, room, sleep, week, weekend, weekend plan
What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

0

1 month ago

confusion, day, disbelief, frustration, humor, just, mean, Monday, right, time, week
Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

0

1 month ago

amount, chore, funny observation, here, household, housemate, humor, i, laundry, live, living, living situation, met, mystery, observation, people, situation, starting, think, wash, washing, week
Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

0

2 months ago

brand, choice, choices, excited, humor, life, life choice, new, questioning, reflection, sarcasm, self, self-reflection, super, week
“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

0

2 months ago

5-year, 5-year plan, funny response, humor, i, movie, next, plan, procrastination, response, short-term, short-term plan, think, week

For even more funny week quotes, hit next 👇

All funny week quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

48 shares on Slack this month:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

53 shares on Discord this month:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

40 shares on Threads this month:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

That urge to nap between 3 p.m. – 5 p.m. is no joke.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,788

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Going bananas on TikTok:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Shared recently on Discord:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Trending via Facebook:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Shared recently on Discord:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Just landed via Instagram:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Live now on Twitch:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Just shared via X:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Trending via Twitch:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Breaking via YouTube:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

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