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I'm convinced January has 74 days. Is it over yet? 😅🗓️
127 Funny week quotes
It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.
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"Guess everyone's resolutions are to avoid leftover fruitcake! 🥳🎄🎊"
That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.
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Living in a time warp where every day's a Sundae 🍦🗓️ #PerpetualWeekend
I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.
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Sounds like the secret to a spotless home is pretending you're always expecting surprise guests! 🧹🏃♂️🙈
If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.
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Remember, Mary's water broke, not their patience! 😂🛒💦
Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.
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When your Amazon cart writes checks that the delivery truck can't cash 😂📦✉️
No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.
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Looks like you're booked for a haunting! 👻📅
Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.
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Mondays should come with a warning label: "Proceed with caution and extra coffee!" ☕️😂
The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun
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Why does the weekend have to be on fast-forward like it's avoiding chores? 🏃♂️💨📅
Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.
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Living that luxury lifestyle where my couch and stovetop become my guest rooms! 🛋️🍳🏰