Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,716

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Making waves on Twitch:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Seen just now on Facebook:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Live now on Snapchat:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Making waves on Telegram:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

2 months ago

0

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the beauty of precision in language! 🇩🇪 No more guessing games or passive-aggressive hints for German couples – they just cut straight to the point with a single word. 🥛💔 Next time you forget the milk, just wait for the inevitable "milchwiedervergessendesärger" to come your way! 😂 #LostInTranslation

again, annoyed, arguments, communication, couples, fine, German, humor, just, less, milk, relationships, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

0

1 month ago

band, concert, giant, giant magnet, guitar, hands, humor, i, influence, magnet, music, shows, The Velvet Underground, underground, velvet
I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

0

4 weeks ago

choice, choices, humor, i, marriage, question, relationship, self-deprecation, wife
What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

0

2 months ago

boat, entertainment, humor, joke, movie, name, Titanic, trivia
The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

0

2 months ago

art, coping, dignity, grace, humor, life, positivity, survival, wit
We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

0

5 months ago

adult, best, childhood, era, growing, growing up, humor, kid, life, life stage, nostalgia, stage, worst
I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

0

2 months ago

essential, ever, everything, humor, irony, money, need, purse

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Discord this month:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

70 shares on X this month:

I totally understand those uncles and aunts who don’t attend gatherings.

32 shares on Threads this month:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

10 shares on X this month:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Trending via TikTok:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Breaking via Discord:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Seen just now on Discord:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Seen just now on Slack:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Just landed via Instagram:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Seen just now on Messenger:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Spotted on Telegram:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴