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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,832

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Breaking via Instagram:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Live now on Threads:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Going bananas on Discord:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Live now on Discord:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Going viral on Messenger:

I put the mess in domestic.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Spotted on X:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

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German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the beauty of precision in language! 🇩🇪 No more guessing games or passive-aggressive hints for German couples – they just cut straight to the point with a single word. 🥛💔 Next time you forget the milk, just wait for the inevitable "milchwiedervergessendesärger" to come your way! 😂 #LostInTranslation

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

68 shares on Threads this month:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

55 shares on Messenger this month:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

94 shares on X this month:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the mess in domestic.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,776

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Trending via WeChat:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Making waves on Discord:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Just landed via Reddit:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Just shared via Messenger:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Seen just now on X:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Shared recently on Slack:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

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