13 funny couples quotes - Wordgag

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

May 22, 2026

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

May 22, 2026

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

May 22, 2026

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

May 21, 2026

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

May 20, 2026

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

May 18, 2026

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

Apr 1, 2026

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Apr 1, 2026

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Apr 1, 2026

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Apr 1, 2026

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Apr 1, 2026

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Mar 30, 2026

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Mar 30, 2026