Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Making waves on TikTok:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Making waves on Discord:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Trending via Snapchat:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Just shared via WeChat:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Trending via Discord:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally, a scientific breakthrough everyone can agree on: pockets = happiness! 👜🔬😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Facebook this month:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

12 shares on Discord this month:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Shared recently on Threads:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Live now on WhatsApp:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Making waves on Messenger:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Going viral on YouTube:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

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