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Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,759

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Just shared via Reddit:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Just shared via TikTok:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Live now on Facebook:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Shared recently on Twitch:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Finally, a scientific breakthrough everyone can agree on: pockets = happiness! 👜🔬😂

dress, girl, girls, happier, happiness, pocket, pockets, science

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

2 months ago

check, clothing, embarrassment, humor, i, outfit, pants, public, put, quick, quick check, real, sure
Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

1 month ago

airport, coughing, most, speaking, thing
Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

1 month ago

friend, humor, media, memory, nostalgia, relationship, Snapchat, social, social media
My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

1 month ago

before, fake, fake tan, funny moment, glasses, humor, husband, marriage, moment, tan, teeth
My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

1 month ago

age, aging, aging sign, body, dog, dog years, feels, health, humor, joke, sign, year’s
Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

4 months ago

humor, laundry, machine, minute, minutes, regular, same, time, washing, washing machine

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Trending via Pinterest:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Spotted on Facebook:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

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Activity Log ✨

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

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Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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