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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Spotted on Messenger:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Breaking via Twitch:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Live now on X:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Making waves on Messenger:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Just landed via Twitch:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Humorous text about divine regret mocking human forgetfulness in a playful way.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, perhaps God's memory has a strict 'delete history' button! 🤷‍♂️🤣 After all, humans do have a way of surprising even the Creator! 🌟😜"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

82 shares on Discord this month:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

42 shares on Threads this month:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

78 shares on Threads this month:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,605

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Just landed via Slack:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Trending via WeChat:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Freshly posted on Slack:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Shared recently on Reddit:

The biggest difference between my toddler and me is that if I had poop on my butt, that’d be priority #1.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Shared recently on Instagram:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Just landed via Discord:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

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