Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Well, perhaps God's memory has a strict 'delete history' button! 🤷‍♂️🤣 After all, humans do have a way of surprising even the Creator! 🌟😜"

creation, divine, God, humor, i, irony, making, memory, remember, self-reflection, stupid, stupidity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

0

4 weeks ago

asking, bring, Christmas, gift, holiday, humor, joke, Santa, sarcasm, sense
All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

0

2 months ago

40, daily, daily life, galaxy, hour, humor, irony, life, planet, planets, satire, universe, week, weeks, work, work week
Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

0

2 months ago

confidence, earlier, humor, i, insult, insulting, me, myself, sarcasm, self, self-talk, wit, work
Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

0

2 months ago

camera, criminal, everyday, everyday life, humor, life, looks, observation, self-checkout, shoplifting, surveillance, technology
I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

0

2 months ago

Chrome, clean, cleaning, contain, humor, i, information, organization, procrastination, survival, tabs, technology, tried
Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

0

2 months ago

adventure, bike, care, childhood, E.T., Elliott, ET, flying, flying bike, fun, just, movie, movie reference, reference, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Threads this month:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

56 shares on Threads this month:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

74 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

22 shares on Threads this month:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Just shared via WeChat:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Trending via Facebook:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Making waves on Threads:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Just landed via Reddit:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Trending via Threads:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨