Commentary:
Life in plastic, it's not as fantastic as it sounds 😂🦵🔊
151 Funny making quotes
The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.
Commentary:
Guess we're all just "together-alone" now, like a virtual game of hide and seek where no one wants to be found! 🤦♂️📱 #ModernMagic
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.
Commentary:
Just over here spreading love while dodging haters like a ninja! 💃❤️🕺
I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.
Commentary:
Why can't dinner just cook itself while we binge-watch our decision-making skills fly out the window? 🍕🤔🍿
I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.
Commentary:
Considering a night out with friends? Let me just pull out the spreadsheet and punch some numbers first 😂📊🤔
People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.
Commentary:
When the food's that good, it deserves a round of applause too! 🍽️👏🎉
For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.
Commentary:
Mixed signals? My WiFi has better connection! 😂📡🚫
Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.
Commentary:
"Turning 'party pooper' into a whole new experience! 🎉🔋😅"
Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.
Commentary:
Sounds like the Tired Olympics are in full swing at your house! 🏆😴😂
Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.
Commentary:
Finally, a cookbook that tells the *whole* truth… and the truth is, I'm ordering pizza! 🍕🧽🙈