Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Spotted on Messenger:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Seen just now on X:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Live now on Slack:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to gather my energy like it's the last cookie on the plate 🍪🔋😴

energy, enough, everyone, fatigue, function, good, humor, luck, motivation, struggle, trying, week

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

0

2 months ago

baking, box, cake, food, handle, hold, humor, i, just, never, transport, trust
Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

0

2 months ago

brag, done, hours, humor, idleness, inactivity, laziness, nothing, procrastination, relaxation
My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

0

2 months ago

better, celebration, death, event, funeral, humor, irony, merch, table
My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

0

6 months ago

animal, animal reaction, behavior, cat, funny pet, hiss, humor, just, pet, pet behavior, reaction, row, sneeze, times
I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

0

2 months ago

excuse, humor, i, plant, plants, procrastination, war, water, watering
The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

0

2 months ago

ad, ads, advertisement, dumb, dumbest, frustration, humor, moron, sarcasm, thing, think, YouTube, YouTube ad

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

61 shares on Slack this month:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

36 shares on Threads this month:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Making waves on WeChat:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Seen just now on WeChat:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Going viral on TikTok:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Seen just now on Slack:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨