34 funny luck quotes - Wordgag

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

May 30, 2026

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

May 30, 2026

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

May 30, 2026

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

May 29, 2026

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

May 29, 2026

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

May 29, 2026

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

May 29, 2026

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

May 27, 2026

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

May 27, 2026

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

May 27, 2026

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

May 27, 2026

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

May 27, 2026

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

May 26, 2026

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

May 26, 2026

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

May 26, 2026

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

May 25, 2026

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

May 25, 2026

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

May 25, 2026

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

May 25, 2026

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

May 24, 2026

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

May 24, 2026

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

May 22, 2026

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

May 22, 2026

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

May 21, 2026

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

May 21, 2026

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

May 21, 2026

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

May 21, 2026

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

May 20, 2026

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

May 20, 2026

They should invent a day where it all works out.

May 19, 2026

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

May 19, 2026

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

May 19, 2026

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

May 19, 2026

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

May 19, 2026