Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,921

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Making waves on TikTok:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
👀 When gas prices are high but the priorities remain… interesting 🚗💸

bonding, boner, carpool, club, drive, grown, grown man, home, humor, male, male bonding, man, men, strip, strip club, together

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

1 month ago

direction, drunk, gardening, growing, humor, nature, plant, silliness
My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

1 month ago

borrowing, chin, chin hair, hair, humor, husband, losing, naming, relationship, tweezers
People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

5 months ago

annoyance, blind, blinds, closed, flight, humor, hurt, leave, passenger, people, plane, ride, travel
I’m not feeling very worky today.

1 month ago

feeling, humor, motivation, procrastination, productivity, today, work
Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

1 month ago

anxiety, creature, disappeared, even, fear, humor, just, spider, surprise, worse
I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

1 month ago

body, body image, content, fat, getting, humor, image, perspective, self-deprecation

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Just shared via Threads:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏