Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Just landed via Twitch:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Going viral on WeChat:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Seen just now on Slack:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Seen just now on Discord:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Spotted on Twitch:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

Making waves on Reddit:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Making waves on Twitch:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Just shared via Instagram:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh no, now I'm obligated to wish them a happy birthday and pretend I didn't just forget… 🎉😅📅

awkward, birthday, hate, i, media, notification, social, social media, story, view

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

0

2 months ago

activity, addiction, cigarettes, coffee, compatibility, fun, fun activity, humor, relationship, together
Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

0

2 months ago

asking, awkward, before, dental, dental visit, dentist, fingers, humor, humorist, joke, mouth, prank, question, silly, sticking, visit
Never eat more than you can lift.

0

2 months ago

advice, diet, eat, fitness, food, humor, lift
Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

0

2 months ago

distance, humor, joke, me, mile, need, relationship, stay, sun
The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

0

2 months ago

always, behavior, bite, call, cell, cell phone, communication, funny observation, hold, humor, i, observation, people, phone, quirky, quirky behavior, sandwich, take, think, trying
A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

0

2 months ago

bible, bit, Boots, died, end, fish, humor, i, irony, Jesus, man, me, outside, religion, sins, spoiler, thanks, told, witty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

81 shares on Discord this month:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

51 shares on Discord this month:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Just landed via TikTok:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Just shared via Pinterest:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Making waves on Discord:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Going viral on Slack:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Live now on Twitch:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Never eat more than you can lift.

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨