Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I think God was high when he made me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”