Commentary:
When I start talking, it's like Netflix autoplay for stories—no subscription required! 😂📚
89 Funny story quotes
Constantly saying “long story short” with absolutely no intention of shortening the story, whatsoever.
Commentary:
This story has more plot twists than a pretzel factory! 😂🥨
My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're the master of solo adventures! 🕵️♂️📚 #SecretPastLife
Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.
Commentary:
Sounds like the plot twist of adulting! 👻😅🏠
Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.
Commentary:
Oh no, now I'm obligated to wish them a happy birthday and pretend I didn't just forget… 🎉😅📅
Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.
Commentary:
That’s one way to find out who’s truly committed to the match! 📣😂 #LocalLove
Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.
Commentary:
Guess I'm waiting for a modern Mr. Darcy to pop up in my DMs instead of just popping up in my notifications 😂📱📖
Viewing everyone’s stories like the morning paper.
Commentary:
Keeping up with today's hot gossip headlines, one hilarious story at a time! 📰😂
Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.
Commentary:
Plot twist: welcome to the writer's version of 'lost in my own head' 😅✍️🗺️
Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.
Commentary:
Trying to keep my grandma from discovering my "fictional" autobiography! 📚🕵️♀️👀