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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,641

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Spotted on Discord:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

5 months ago

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Commentary:
When you're a master chef in your own kitchen and somehow broke at the same time 🥑💸👩‍🍳.

25, avocado, avocado toast, cafe, comparison, cooking, cost, delivery, eats, food, food delivery, home, home cooking, humor, labor, labor cost, minute, money, price, price comparison, time, toast, Uber, Uber Eats, value, value of time, worth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

4 weeks ago

affection, deficiency, forehead, forehead kiss, humor, kiss, kisses, longing, relationship, self-diagnosed, suffering
When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

4 weeks ago

childhood, cicada, funny thought, heat, hot, i, kid, misconception, nature, outside, real, sound, summer, sunshine, thought
If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

1 month ago

followers, humor, i, ID, media, popularity, social, social media, too, transformation, turn, water, wine
When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

1 month ago

humor, identity, Jenn, Jennifer, joke, name, nickname, people, play, play on words, short, think, words
The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

4 weeks ago

bed, comfort, couch, laziness, procrastination, real, relaxation, sleep, struggle
If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

1 month ago

1, ago, Bitcoin, cryptocurrency, finance, humor, investment, joke, let, let that sink in, sink, ten, value, worth, year’s

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Going viral on Reddit:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Just shared via TikTok:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Breaking via Twitch:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Breaking via Reddit:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

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Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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