Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

16 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Shared recently on Threads:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Breaking via Facebook:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Seen just now on Telegram:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Seen just now on Discord:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

6 months ago

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why did corn get all the attention when there's a whole world of food waiting to be exploded into greatness?! 🌽💥🍴 Maybe if we start exploding more foods, we'll uncover the next culinary revolution…or at least have some epic kitchen fails to laugh about! 😂🔥 #ExplodingEdibles"

better, check, cooking, corn, experiment, exploding, food, humor, just, science, something, stop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

16 minutes ago

3,457

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Reported on Pinterest:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Trending via LinkedIn:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Trending via Twitch:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Making waves on Telegram:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

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