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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

456 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,725

Funny Quotes Topics

17,743

Funny Quotes Images

15,725

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Shared recently on TikTok:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Breaking via Threads:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Just shared via WeChat:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Spotted on Twitch:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Just shared via Snapchat:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Having a job is insane because they give you actual money in exchange for pressing the buttons.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Pressing buttons and getting paid? I've been in training for this my whole life! 😎💰🚀

actual, button, buttons, employment, exchange, give, having, humor, insane, insanity, job, money, pressing, salary, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

1 month ago

comfort, comfort food, comparison, food, food comparison, humor, little, pillow, pillows, pizza, pizza roll, roll, rolls, snack
Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

2 months ago

amount, before, breakup, dating, evil, evil ex, ex, experience, humor, love, meet, need, normal, normal ex, offer, relationship, right, serious, situationship, spouse, three, truly
I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

2 months ago

again, bag, blood, blood pressure, fit, free, handy, humor, i, irony, kit, never, once, pressure, relatable, stuff, take
Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

2 months ago

dream, getting, humor, job, paid, relaxation, sleep, work
“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

3 months ago

after, AI, bathroom, bathroom break, behavior, break, clocking, clocking in, coming, human, human behavior, humor, ID, job, jobs, poop, productivity, right, take, toilet, work, workplace
Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

2 months ago

amazing, car, floor, hair, humor, men, people, product, same, teeth, washing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

50 shares on Instagram this month:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

57 shares on X this month:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

86 shares on Discord this month:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Just landed via Instagram:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Spotted on Messenger:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Going viral on Snapchat:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having a job is insane because they give you actual money in exchange for pressing the buttons.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨