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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,316

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Spotted on X:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Freshly posted on Discord:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Broadcasted on Threads:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Trending via YouTube:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Going bananas on Slack:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Trending via YouTube:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Breaking via Messenger:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Funny quote highlighting a mom's impressive cooking skills with a playful vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mom's kitchen is the only place where calories don't count and love is the secret ingredient! 🍳❤️🤣

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Slack this month:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Taking a walk: The most effective debugging tool.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

71 shares on X this month:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,321

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Live now on Facebook:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Trending via Slack:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Going viral on Instagram:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Just shared via WeChat:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Making waves on Threads:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Going viral on Reddit:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Spotted on Reddit:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

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