Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

356 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,625

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,625

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,289

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Trending via Discord:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Going viral on X:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Just landed via X:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mom's kitchen is the only place where calories don't count and love is the secret ingredient! 🍳❤️🤣

big, compliment, cooking, family, flex, food, good, having, humor, mom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

2 months ago

activity, dating, feelings, fun, fun activity, humor, i, onesome, relationships
Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

2 weeks ago

betrayal, getting, gray, humor, keys, marriage, pants, personal, powerful, prediction, psychic, relationship, tell, things, wife
My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

2 months ago

accident, briefcase, dropped, humor, lawyer, legal, legal profession, nunchuk, profession, surprise
When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

2 months ago

humor, identity, Jenn, Jennifer, joke, name, nickname, people, play, play on words, short, think, words
I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

2 months ago

ability, car, choice, flying, flying car, game, humor, i, last, life, life choice, nostalgia, point, restart, save, save point, start, technology, video, video game, want
Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

2 months ago

care, care less, humor, i, intensive, intensive purpose, irony, irregardless, language, less, purpose, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Facebook this month:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

47 shares on X this month:

Wolves should really raise more people.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

46 shares on Discord this month:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

43 shares on Slack this month:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Just shared via Reddit:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Making waves on Discord:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Trending via Threads:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Going viral on Telegram:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Making waves on Telegram:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Spotted on Twitch:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨