Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,778

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Live now on Pinterest:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Trending via TikTok:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Shared recently on Discord:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Spotted on X:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Just landed via Facebook:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Just landed via Slack:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mom's kitchen is the only place where calories don't count and love is the secret ingredient! 🍳❤️🤣

big, compliment, cooking, family, flex, food, good, having, humor, mom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

0

2 months ago

activity, asleep, boredom, boring, conversation, counting, fall, funny activity, humor, i, sheep, shepherd, sleep, talking
“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

0

2 months ago

failure, imagination, least, things, well, worse
Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

0

2 months ago

age, drink, humor, hungover, life, middle, middle age, reality, wake, wake up, welcome, where
Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

0

2 months ago

angry, apologize, decide, humor, let, naked, relationship, sleep, still, women
Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, buddy, came, careful, caution, fun, fun activity, humor, joke, man, never, risk, trampoline
I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, multiple, multiple personality, personality, psychology, score, self-assessment, test

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

50 shares on TikTok this month:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Fries, not lies.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Spotted on Telegram:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Spotted on TikTok:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Trending via Telegram:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨