Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Just landed via Facebook:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Just shared via Threads:

I am thick and tired.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, practice makes perfect in the Olympics of weirdness! 😂🏆🔥

freaky, having, humor, intimacy, nasty, person, relationship, same, sex, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

0

2 months ago

3, best, gardening, growing, homegrown, humor, investment, life, money, months, own, saving, saving money, time, time investment, tomato
My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

0

6 months ago

center, data, data center, different, girlfriend, humor, joke, know, relationship, tech, tech joke
Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

0

3 months ago

annoyance, awareness, behavior, bothering, humor, i, inform, interaction, me, observation, pattern, people, personality, social, social interaction, stop, tell, warning
You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

1

2 months ago

boyfriend, breakup, humor, relationship, stuff, throw, throwing, window, woman, women
Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

0

2 months ago

big, double, double negative, friendly, grammar, humor, joke, language, linguistic, linguistic rule, negative, punctuation, reminder, rule
Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

0

2 months ago

alone, bats, castle, day, Dracula, escape, humor, introvert, live, right, situation, sleep, social, social situation, solitude

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

65 shares on YouTube this month:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Making waves on Facebook:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Just landed via Threads:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Making waves on WeChat:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Going viral on Facebook:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Going viral on Discord:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨