Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,029

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Spotted on Pinterest:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Spotted on Slack:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Shared recently on Discord:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Breaking via X:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Shared recently on Threads:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Spotted on Instagram:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I’ll bring the sacrificial snacks! 🍕😂🔮

casual, false, false god, God, humor, invitation, later, man, pull, slang, worship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

0

5 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, favorite, humor, i, interaction, know, moment, people, pretend, public, social, social interaction, thing
If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

0

2 weeks ago

better, breakup, education, focus, Harvard, humor, i, relationship, school
People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

0

2 months ago

adult, age, humor, irony, me, mistake, people, perception
I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

0

2 months ago

drink, fruit, funny idea, humor, i, idea, mixology, party, summer, think, vodka, watermelon
I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

0

1 month ago

another, craving, desire, food, fun, girl, humor, just, looking, search, snack
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, even, food, humor, i, image, life, own, pants, priorities, relationship, sex

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on TikTok this month:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

34 shares on Instagram this month:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

65 shares on Slack this month:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

59 shares on X this month:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Trending via YouTube:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Just landed via Messenger:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Going viral on Reddit:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨