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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I think my type is a nice person.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Just landed via Reddit:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Making waves on Twitch:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Breaking via Facebook:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Just landed via Slack:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.
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Commentary:
"Out with the old, in with the new! If you suddenly hear crickets, you might want to check if you made the cut. 🦗👀 #NewChapter #SorryNotSorry"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Making waves on Instagram:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Spotted on Facebook:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Making waves on YouTube:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Breaking via X:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Trending via TikTok:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Live now on Discord:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Just shared via Reddit:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

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