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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,379

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Just shared via Telegram:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Live now on Instagram:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Live now on Discord:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Making waves on WeChat:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

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Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.
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Commentary:
📞 "Isn't it funny how we pretend our phones have a life of their own? 'Sorry, can't make it to the phone right now.' Really? Your phone is out there living its best life without you! 😂 Maybe we should all start leaving voicemails for our phones too, just to keep the communication alive. Who knows, they might start texting us back! 🤳 #PhoneEqualsLife"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on YouTube this month:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

42 shares on X this month:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Just landed via YouTube:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Trending via Facebook:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Just landed via TikTok:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Spotted on Facebook:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Just shared via X:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Broadcasted on Threads:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

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