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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

This Monday could have been an email.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Jan 5, 2026

3,325

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Going viral on Messenger:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Just shared via Facebook:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Just landed via YouTube:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Seen just now on Slack:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Shared recently on X:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

2 months ago

0

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of the genius mind – burdened by brilliance and plagued by existential angst. 🧠💡 Who knew that being too smart could be such a buzzkill? Maybe a little sprinkle of foolishness can bring the joy you seek! 🤪😉"

am, happiness, happy, humor, i, intelligent, irony, self-awareness, too, wisdom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

0

2 months ago

balls, bigger, comparison, confidence, everyone, humor, irony, perspective, problems
Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

0

2 months ago

clean, convenience, everyone, humor, just, laziness, outside, pee, toilet
Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

0

2 months ago

block, brain, brain fog, confusion, fog, grounded, humor, mental, mental block, notice, thoughts
He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

0

6 days ago

called, camera, cameron, humor, james, James Cameron, joke, pun, wordplay
I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

0

2 months ago

advice, being, bigger, bigger person, contact, energy, humor, i, matching, matching energy, no contact, person, recommend, relationship
When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

0

2 months ago

brain, devil, enemy, humor, irony, me, mental, mental struggle, reach, self sabotage, struggle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Threads this month:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

39 shares on Instagram this month:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

43 shares on X this month:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The first step to recovery is addiction.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,237

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Making waves on X:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Seen just now on Telegram:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Just shared via Twitch:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Trending via TikTok:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

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