Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Spotted on Reddit:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Breaking via WeChat:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Going viral on X:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Spotted on TikTok:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Going viral on Instagram:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Trending via Threads:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, I guess my English teacher just quit their job 😅📚🚪➡️🏃‍♂️

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

0

2 months ago

doctor, hanging, health, humor, joke, just, left, me, medicine, prescription, relationship, Viagra
Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

0

2 months ago

gay, humor, identity, joke, language, LGBTQ, person, rainbow, word, wordplay
Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

0

2 months ago

humor, language, lead, odd, oddity, pronunciation, read, wordplay
Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

0

3 months ago

age, aging, bad, everything, forget, forgetfulness, know, knowledge, memory, old, old age, once, start, time, timing, wisdom
Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

0

2 months ago

conversation, fake, fake smile, hobby, humor, patience, people, situation, smile, smiling, social, social situation, stop, talking, waiting
The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

0

3 months ago

backstory, horror, live, mood, October, seaside, seaside town, seasonal, seasonal mood, sleepy, sleepy town, small, small town, spooky, spooky vibe, town, urge, vibe

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

92 shares on Discord this month:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

66 shares on YouTube this month:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

Shared recently on Telegram:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Live now on YouTube:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Seen just now on Threads:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Spotted on Instagram:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨