42 funny neighbor quotes - Wordgag

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

May 30, 2026

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

May 30, 2026

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

May 29, 2026

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

May 29, 2026

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

May 29, 2026

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

May 28, 2026

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

May 28, 2026

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

May 28, 2026

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

May 27, 2026

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

May 27, 2026

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

May 27, 2026

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

May 26, 2026

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

May 26, 2026

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

May 26, 2026

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

May 26, 2026

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

May 25, 2026

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

May 25, 2026

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

May 25, 2026

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

May 24, 2026

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

May 24, 2026

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

May 24, 2026

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

May 23, 2026

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

May 23, 2026

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

May 22, 2026

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

May 22, 2026

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

May 22, 2026

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

May 22, 2026

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

May 21, 2026

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

May 21, 2026

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

May 21, 2026

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

May 21, 2026

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

May 21, 2026

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

May 21, 2026

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

May 21, 2026

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

May 21, 2026

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

May 21, 2026

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

May 21, 2026

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

May 21, 2026

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

May 21, 2026

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

May 20, 2026