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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Going bananas on Twitch:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Going bananas on Twitch:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Spotted on Reddit:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Going viral on Slack:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Trending via X:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Seen just now on Slack:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

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I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like your boyfriend was definitely on a cleaning spree – either that or he's secretly moonlighting as a crime scene cleaner! It's always good to have a partner who's willing to take care of the mess, just try not to jump to the worst conclusions next time he breaks out the mop!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Instagram this month:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

55 shares on Threads this month:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

49 shares on WeChat this month:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

41 shares on Threads this month:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,431

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Making waves on Twitch:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Going viral on X:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Going viral on Reddit:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Going viral on Twitch:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

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