Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Making waves on TikTok:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Just landed via TikTok:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Going viral on Twitch:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

Spotted on X:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.

21 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Still waiting for my certificate in Digital Hoarding 📷📥😂

communication, confirmation, email, even, habit, i, message, only, screenshot, screenshots, technology, text

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

0

2 months ago

activity, couch, day, good, humor, leisure, making, most, relaxation, spent, still, sure, work, works
I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

0

2 months ago

comparison, efficiency, frustration, Google, humor, i, less, myself, personality, self, someone, something, watching
There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

0

2 months ago

always, body, body image, contortion, humor, humor quote, image, keep, new, perspective, self-acceptance, self-image, self-view, view, yourself
I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

0

2 months ago

allowed, behavior, house, humor, independence, own, permission, social, social behavior, surprise
Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

0

2 months ago

always, archaeology, bone, career, career joke, humor, joke, paleontologist, pick, pun, science, science humor, seems
The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

0

2 months ago

boss, Christmas, employee, even, humor, never, party, Pope, religion, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

98 shares on X this month:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

76 shares on X this month:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Trending via Instagram:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Making waves on Reddit:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Just landed via X:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨